The menopause can hit us at many different ages, but for most women it’s in midlife and after that this comes knocking. From hot flashes to flooding to mind fog and weight gain, the effects can range from alarming to annoying, but either way you can help yourself to still feel confident with some careful style considerations.
The perimenopause can play havoc on every part of our lives, style and self belief in and out of the bedroom.
Sometimes, just as you’re hitting the peak of your career, you can be hitting the menopause at the same time, which can take away some of your confidence and leave you feeling unlike yourself – which is why so many women leave the workplace, become consultants or go part time at this point in their lives. I work with wonderful women at mid-life and beyond, and hear some of the same menopause related conundrums, so decided to make this video.
Because, even if you have strict dress codes, your style is empowering as something you can control in the brain fog and seemingly uncontrollable dancing hormones of menopause.
In this video, I’ll give you a few tricks up your sleeve, as your own bit of menopause armour so that you can better deal with the flooding and flashes and brain fog – in and out of the boardroom, so that you can step out in confidence.
Simple and easy tips
1. Problem – One issue that isn’t spoken about so much is Flooding…that horrific feeling of having a near constant really really bad period, and the fear of having an accident – especially at work. It can leave you feeling less than sexy, and unintentionally take up energy and leave you feeling permanently slightly anxious, rather than being able to focus on the task at hand.
When I had fibroids before my surgery, I experienced exactly that…I was ok when I was sat down, but the minute I stood up, it felt a gushing sensation, like the world was falling out from inside of me, and I dreaded having an accident, especially whilst at work.
White trousers were an obvious no no, and fabric covered chairs at work and on aeroplanes were my nightmare. I constantly worried about where the nearest bathroom was, and whether I’d be able to discretely leave meetings to get to them. Can you relate?
Solution – Now of course, we can’t necessarily get rid of the flooding, but we want to feel more confident and in control…
One thing that I found really helpful was having dark, work appropriate leather or PVC skirts, that act as a barrier of sorts. Brands such as Joseph and Vince often have chic work appropriate styles, in black, grey or navy blue, that you can pair with a big jumper and chunkier boots for the weekend, or with a slinky top for a date night – even if that’s a date night with yourself!
It can also be helpful to have a dark coat or a spare dark knit that you can casually drape over a fabric chair before sitting on it – no one else will notice, and it’ll help to alleviate your worry.
Underwear of course can also help. It can be easy to get into habits of buying big mutli-pack practical panties at this stage, which may be practical, but won’t help your confidence or inner va-va-voom – and I’m sure it’s still in there dying to come out!
So I’m not telling you to slip on some skimpy sexies unless you want to – it’s about finding practical solutions that work for you that also give you a bit of a lift and a dash of inner twinkle.
That could be as simple as buying a new bra and pant set in a fun colour, and buying a few extra pairs of the matching knickers (even if that’s from Marks and Spencers) so that you feel more put together – bring out your inner French style with a matching ensemble!
I also love a red cotton or bamboo knicker – Baserange do some great bright red panties, which can work even if you’re experiencing flooding or incontinence. It’s your secret!
Over the top of your knickers, you might want to wear a pair of mini shorts – designer azzedine alaia has always done these snug ones, so that you don’t do a Marilyn Monroe in one of his to short fit and flare skirts, but they also work perfectly at helping you to feel more secure in this menopausal moment.
They’re just an extra layer of support to help to keep everything in place. If you’re watching on style-whisper.com, there are some options linked in the article, and if you’re watching elsewhere, I’ve put a link to the article in the notes below this video.
There are also thin shorties from stylish performance brands – such as chafe-free performance underwear for runners and triathletes. These comfortable, full-coverage boy shorts are made of breathable technical fabric
tend to be quite thin and lightweight as they’re designed to go under runners tights or leggings.
Lucas Hugh have some thin running knickers, designed to wick away sweat, that can be great for this and Patagonia do active briefs if that’s more your style. Personally I prefer the Alaia and Baserange versions – Baserange do some lovely ones in natural fabrics that I find comfortable and chic and a little more vavavoom than anything too technical! And that’s what we want right – to feel great!
This leads us to another common menopausal issue that I hear from so many gorgeous ladies, which is that it’s easy to feel less than sexy at this moment, as the hormones are all over the place, and new sensations of dryness can occur.
Again, underwear can make such a difference – making that effort for yourself to have matching sets – and why not a red bra and knicker set – it can still be practical, rather than your usual black…the secret’s yours unless you care to share, and will give you a little wiggle.
There are also new ranges of very stylish and non embarrassing vibrators out there, including Goop’s carefully designed self warming model, alongside more natural and discrete lubricants. Whether you have a partner or not, getting yourself back in touch with yourself is key. Whatever you think of your body, and its changing shape, give it some love care and attention, with magnesium salt baths (known to aid relaxation,) and massaging your favourite oil into your body actively – enjoying the sensation of your skin (no matter how soft or squishy) between your slippery hands. Try using organic oils, that are less likely to contain hormone disrupters.
Spend some time with yourself naked, or in something that feels good – a silk robe for example, and build some everyday style rituals into your life, such as lighting your favourite scented candle whilst you have breakfast and brush your teeth, to create your own multi-sensorial experience and elevate your everyday!
Lots of love Aleksandra xoxo