Fashion

Style myths busted – 3 Fashion Rules to DITCH!

Women in their mid-life can start to worry about how they wear cloths and fashions they used to love, suddenly you question if you still can. You pay more attention to the fashion rules, BUT should you?

Today I’m debunking three fashion ‘rules’ and sharing tips on how to still look amazing at whatever age you are, but especially when you are over forty in your mid and later life

Having come from the fashion industry, I can tell you the rules are nonsense!

 – Lose the fashion rules and thrive!

 Your  style should support all sides of you, 

and not restrict certain dimensions of you to a boho or ladylike cliché 

– after all don’t we all want to feel like elegant and relevant best versions of ourselves at midlife and beyond! 

So I say, drop the style rules, 

and instead of being a slave to style rules, 

it’s far more liberating and empowering to discover and evolve your Inside Out Style identity – and that’s what I help my gorgeous private clients with!

I’ve worked in fashion and luxury for over 25 years 

– styling and creative direction for brands, celebrities and magazines such as Chanel, Celine Vanessa Bruno and Vogue, 

and hear all sorts of style dos and don’ts. 

 Of course you may have some key shapes and colours that are more flattering to you,

 but instead of generic rules, I believe in finding the right style for you and your unique and ever-changing  body, skin tones and lifestyle, 

so that you can embody your next level style, and your next level you 

and allow your style to support your success!

We are all idiosyncratic individuals, and especially at midlife and beyond,  it’s crucial to accept and evolve all our dimensions – some of which may have got lost over the years as we overly develop certain roles such as mother or career professional, causing us to feel flat or live a one sided life.

In this video, you’ll feel excited, confident liberated and ready to lose the fashion rules, to discover YOUR personal style identity instead, 

for a renewed joie de vivre

And a stylish new chapter, 

feeling more happy, powerful and in control – in and out of work! 

Okay so what’s the first rule that we’re going to debunk…

1. Drop the colour systems

I’ve heard so many weird colour rules in my life…

“Blue and green together should never be seen…”

Or that red-heads shouldn’t wear pink 

– or that pink makes boys wink. 

It doesn’t.

Or that navy and black shouldn’t be combined 

– except that some of the chicest women in Paris wear them together with panache. 

It’s a super stylish combination!

Or that you shouldn’t wear clashing colours 

– but did you see what Yves Saint Laurent did with fuschia pink and bright orange? Divine!

Or find your colour season 

– uncover whether you’re a Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter!

As far as colour rules go, I say ignore them all.

 The truth is that most people can wear most colours

It isn’t so much about the colour, it’s about the shade

It’s just like red lipsticks – there are blue based reds, orangey reds, pinky reds

…and some of these reds will look better on you than others.

The same is true of all colours! It’s just about figuring out which shades and tones best suit you!

 It’s true that it can be useful to know which shades and tones of colours look best around your face…

so make sure you’re somewhere with ample natural light, and take a photograph of yourself wearing different colours (even if that’s just draping different fabrics or garments around your shoulders and decolletage)

…what this allows you to do, is to have some objectivity in the way you view yourself. 

That way you can easily work out what colours look best on your unique skin tone!

If you have favourite colours that don’t look that flattering against your skin, simply incorporate them as accessories 

– a statement coloured bag for example, 

and don’t forget that you can still incorporate less flattering shades to great effect away from the face – 

and remember that tonal outfits of the different shades of the same colour can be not only flattering, but look easily polished and put together!

The same goes for black (which isn’t actually a colour, but that’s just a technicality here!)

Many midlife women come to me saying they love black, and can they still wear it after 50. 

Yes of course you can! 

But be aware that the face naturally loses it’s pigmentation as we get older, 

so black near the face can make some women look more tired or drawn, even giving a faint grey aura. 

There’s a reason why many old paintings and fashions of days gone by show black tops and dresses with a white collar, Ruth Bader Ginsburg style, 

or with the flattering glow of diamonds or pearls that radiate light onto the face. 

A scarf with a delicate sparkle, or a pastel shade that compliments your skin tone will do the same job, 

especially one made of a luminous fabric such as silk.

 2. Re-evaluate your body shape and size.

Are you a pear, an apple, an hourglass or an upside down triangle? 

More importantly, 

why would you want to define your unique and wonderful body shape as an inanimate object?

Isn’t it better to feel fruity and delicious, 

than define your body shape as a hum drum fruit?

Instead, harness the power of the horizontal line – you can find out more about this magic tool in my FREE guide, find the link in the notes below. 

The next thing to do is to ignore the size tag…

I know that clothing sizes can be really confusing…

Did you know that outside of military menswear, 

women’s standard sizing was developed in the late 1930s (and refined in the 1950s and 70s)  in America, in order to be able to sell more clothes more cheaply to women!

They measured a selection of women, and took an average.

 As our bodies change, we can become more conscious of size. 

Things that used to look good on us no longer fit or suit us, 

The midlife midriff can creep up

and suddenly we find that we need different sizes for different parts of our bodies 

– a 14 up top, and 18 down below for example.

 Now, a lot of clients come to me and say that they can’t find anything that fits them in the shops, and that the sizing is all over the place!

 And I always say that that’s totally normal.

Because…

*you’re not average! 

We all have unique proportions

also,

*today every brand has their version of sizing

Not only that but

*within a brand (whether luxury or faster fashion – from  Marks and Spencers to Moschino) different pieces can come from different suppliers or factories 

– which have THEIR own version of sizings…

so within a single brand you will experience discrepancies in size 

–  It’s no wonder that things all fit differently!

OHLALA!

*And then some shops indulge in vanity sizing 

(marking down a size 16 to a size 14, or 12 for example) 

so that customers feel better, and buy from that brand,that is flattering them. 

In other words,

Sizing is a sales technique!

*And when a new Creative Director (like me) joins a brand, 

they can bring different ideas of their ideal client avatar, 

which means a change in the technical specifications and sizing ideals of that brand!

One creative director may favor a more curvy lady, and another a super skinny version of femininity.

Today’s standard sizes are completely different to the hour glass figure based sizings of the past…

according to The Washington Post:

 “a size 8 dress today is nearly the equivalent of a size 16 dress in 1958.” 

As a population we are much larger, 

and due to globalisation, there are many more variations of body shape that a brand is trying to sell to 

– in other words – more diversity in the average 

– and the more average something is,

 the less unique and amazing it is – right?

 So, please don’t worry too much about the size-tag

(I know this can be disheartening sometimes)

Deep down, you don’t want to be average anyway, when you can be amazing!   

So instead of the number on the tag, 

focus on refining what best suits you, and your unique 

(and distinctly un average body!)

 irrespective of the label!

3. Fashion won’t change your life, as it’s not really about the clothes.

There, I’ve said it. 

In my Next Level You method to find your Inside Out Style Identity, we address not only your wardrobe, but we redesign and restyle your mind, your social life and your home 

– because unless you embody your outfits, and feel comfortable in your next level style, it’s just a band aid, 

like a bad tv restyling show that’s still shown on repeat from 1996. 

You have to believe it and feel it!

 Have you ever been to the hairdresser and had a blow dry that wasn’t the way you liked it? 

You get home and re-do it, and feel immediately like a more powerful, polished and desirable version of yourself. 

It’s the same with your clothes. 

You have to embrace your style with confidence and panache 

– and that comes from cultivating a deep grounded sense of self that comes from within. 

No matter what changes are going on in your life

 It’s your inner attitude and how that’s expressed on the outside that’s really exciting in helping you to feel sexy, self assured and sassy!

Your wardrobe can help you along the way, but you have to believe it – and that’s what all the best editors know…

When working with some of the worlds top celebrities or models as I’ve done

 – it’s often not about standard ideas of beauty, that make someone sparkle, and seem desirable, delicious and va va voom

-it’s the inner energy and attitude that brings the clothes to life

And it’s that that elevates a model from simply looking pretty and trying to smize, 

to being a supermodel on the cover of a magazine

It’s a certain je ne sais quoi that comes from within

From the way they hold themselves 

From their convictions and the way they represent them in life

From the way they knowingly wear the clothes 

From the ease and deep inner self confidence that the right clothes can bring out, but that comes from really knowing yourself, your style and your values. 


I frequently get asked about all sorts of age rules such as:

Can I have long hair after 50

Is it age appropriate to wear a leather skirt after 40

Can I still wear heels at midlife

The truth is, age appropriate doesn’t exist. 

Wear the leather skirt with long hair and heels, if you wear it with utter self belief and your unique attitude! 

It’s all about you and finding your own personal style that expresses your values, personality and lifestyle, 

and wearing pieces that suit that. 

Pieces that you can embody, help you to express yourself,

 and feel like your best you from deep within

 The truth is, that sometimes at times of transition and re-evaluation such as divorce, menopause or asking yourself if there’s more to life than work, 

we can lose sight of ourselves at midlife. 

Fundamentally re-evaluating yourself by exploring different sides of yourself is crucial 

to developing not only a rock solid sense of self 

– but of style too!

 Your style – Clothes, and what you surround yourself with in your home, can help you to feel a certain way, 

so in order to empower yourself, you have to know how you want to feel 

– and how you want to be perceived by yourself and by others in your next level version of yourself! 

Equally,

 your inner beliefs inform the way you see yourself, your style and self beliefs – which is why your Inside Out Style is the best approach for lasting change to look AND feel fabulous, with a renewed spring in your step, ready for a stylish next chapter!

And if you’re feeling inspired to throw out the overrated fashion rules to embrace your inner vava-voom, 

and would like more actionable advice as to how to get out of your mid-life style rut,  

in and out of work, 

then watch my next video.

Lots of Love xoxo Aleksandra

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